A funny thing happens when your only child moves out of the house.
Suddenly, there’s a lot of freedom. Sure, it’s in the form of not having to go to school events, or scheduling your life around an academic calendar. But there’s something else, too: there’s more mind-space to begin considering your own future. What does a light-filled life look like when the person you’ve curated your life around is on the cusp of complete independence?
As our daughter Alex went off to college, my partner Marcus and I realized that the time had come for us to consider what our future could look like. Marcus is English, and I met him when I was living in London. Ours was a whirlwind romance, and we were married less than a year after our first date. Almost immediately after we wed, my employer transferred me back to the United States and Marcus followed — and save for a 2-year stint in Trinidad, we’ve been in the United States ever since. But our intent has always been to eventually return and retire in the UK, especially since our daughter has both British and American citizenship, so she can travel between the countries as she wishes. In the summer of 2023, we decided perhaps it was time to establish a foothold in England, and the following November we bought a small, one-bedroom flat in Bath, England, as a first step toward our future.
We’re not emigrating anytime soon — our daughter still has a few years left at university, and Marcus enjoys his work, so we’re not likely to move until, at a minimum, after she’s graduated. But over the coming years, we’re slowly going to begin taking steps towards that move: visiting the country more often, updating the flat, figuring out how to apply for my indefinite leave/residency in the United Kingdom (because I’m not a British citizen), and generally determining what our new life will look like as we assimilate in a new town that neither Marcus nor I have ever lived in. And we’ll do all of this while I continue to tend to my writing career, my parents (who live about a mile from us in Houston), and our daughter’s impending independence.
The Make Light Project is where I’ll occasionally chronicle our progress, except this time, in video form: everything from the upgrades we do to the flat, our adventures as we explore our new neighbourhood, how we’re managing our now-open-nest, and eventually in a few years, I suspect, our move across the pond. I’d be honoured if you’d join me along the ride. Because the way I figure it, at some point we’re all likely to face transitions similar in size to the ones we’ll be facing. The things I learn along the way might be helpful for those of you who might be facing comparable transitions; and honestly, I’m sure I’ll learn from those of you who’ve already navigated a few.
Full disclosure: the videos that I share in The Make Light Project will be behind a paywall. Why? Because, unlike the posts that I normally share, these are going to be pretty personal. There will be footage of the interior of our place in England, as well as of our neighbourhood. I’ll share choices that we make that may not be right for everyone. In other words, there’ll be ample opportunity for me to get pretty vulnerable. For this reason, I’d love to ensure that as we connect, everyone has a little skin in the game — it helps ensure that while we might not always agree, all of us who are part of this community are motivated to remain respectful and lead with kindness.
I hope you’ll consider upgrading to a paid subscription, and join me on this journey. You’ll continue to get the always-free, always-light-filled Make Light Journal posts, but you’ll also get the more intimate video/audio posts shared here about twice a month. And for those who would like to be founding members, I’m happy to throw in a one-on-one Office Hour session, where we’ll meet for 50 minutes to discuss whatever’s on your mind. (Of course, if you choose not to upgrade, you’ll continue to receive the free weekly Make Light Journal posts as you always have, with my sincere gratitude.)
So, let’s get this Project on the road. I can’t wait to connect with you here.
If you enjoyed this post, please give it a heart and feel free to share it. It’s a quick, easy way to support my work, and I’d be deeply grateful.
I have a logistical question.
When I hit the “Manage Subscription” button, it summons a statement, “you cannot manage this subscription in the app”.
Um, so where can I upgrade or change a subscription? I feel like a dolt, and I am truly stymied. Help!
I relish the opportunity to join you and Marcus on this journey, to be travel mates, as it were. This next chapter is proving to be more complex than expected, to say the least. And, I appreciate this use of the paywall, for a measure of privacy and an intentional, invested community.