After a crazy May-beginning-of-June, things are beginning to settle. The past week, the second week into my move to the UK, has been all about getting my bearings. It’s true that we’ve been coming back and forth frequently to the UK, so we’ve already spent the past 2-1/2 years learning our neighbourhood; however, this is the first time I’m here with no real plans for returning to the US anytime soon.
the time has come to find community, baby.
Normally, this would make me nervous: anyone who knows me knows that I’m a deeply introverted person, and my inclination to simply hole up in the house is real. But there’s something pretty serendipitous about making a big move to a new culture while in the throes of writing a book about communal compassion: after all, the whole premise of the book is that compassion and kinship will change the world. In other words, if this isn’t a physician-heal-thyself moment, then I don’t know what is.
Luckily, this place has a lot of charm to entice me outside.
Anyway, I’ve been trying out various community events. Marcus found a flyer for a neighbourhood meeting, and I went: it was tiny and hilarious and I’ll be writing more about it in the book, so you’ll have to wait a minute before you hear about it. I also went to a Silent Book Club meeting at a local coffeehouse — where everyone brings their own book to the shop and reads silently for an hour, or what I like to call Introvert Nirvana. (And get this, there are Silent Book Clubs all over the world, so if this appeals, I strongly recommend finding one near you!) As you might expect, I’ve been desperately looking for a community pottery — I figured that a community pottery would give me the most potential for finding organic community, what with this ceramics addiction passion that I’ve cultivated — but unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be one in Bath. I did find one in Bristol, which is only a 15-minute train ride from Bath; but on top of that rail journey, it’s a 10,000 step commute from my house, taking far too much time out of my day to make going a regular thing. Still, it’s lovely, and I did manage to throw two small planters that are now awaiting their first bisque firing.
I’ve also been to our local pub (characterful locals!) and a beautiful museum (amazing art!), so it’s been a joy. I’m not sure I’m quite yet finding kinship, however. So I’ll keep trying.
But this also seems like the perfect opportunity to learn from you, as well: how have you found kinship and communal compassion in your own communities? Was it serendipitous, or intentional? What would be your best advice to someone who was new to your neighbourhood?
Please share in the comments — this has become such a lovely community here on Make Light, I’m sure your wisdom would be invaluable to others who, like me, are looking for their own people!
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Community... oh, yes please! When we moved to our new neighborhood 3 years ago, we hosted a neighborhood coffee hour. We have a small greenbelt area with a gazebo and held it there. Everyone brought their own favorite coffee or tea, while we supplied the coffee cake and fruit. It was a fun way to get to know several of our neighbors at one time. Other thoughts, volunteer somewhere that means something to you. When I retired, I joined the Board of Directors for our historic (100 year old!) theatre. As the arts mean a lot to us, we also volunteer with our local symphony. I'm currently applying to be a volunteer at our library, to read to little kids, and also at a local elementary school school to let kids read to me. Delivering Meals on Wheels, whatever that looks like in England, is a worthy volunteer also. It's all about volunteering in a place that means something to you, as then you feed both your joy and the community being served.
When we moved in 2023 I wanted to make friends while dog walking, but unfortunately the dog we adopted has decided he wants to murder everyone's ankles, so we have to keep our distance. But! I started a writer's group, and it's been great. I put out a call on the town Facebook page to find my people. At each group, I provide two or three writing prompts, and everyone scribbles in their notebook and then shares what they've written (but only if they want to). One of the members described it as "perfect for introverts." Highly recommend.
(Leo has to stay crated upstairs, though. He *really* wants to get at people's sweet ankle-blood.)