this is 59.
on the final year of my second act
It’s my birth month, so grab your gift: if you’re not a paid subscriber, for the month of July, I’m offering 25% off annual subscriptions. I hope you join me!
today is my 59th birthday.
And so begins the last year of my second act.
In storytelling’s three-act structure, the second act is about the protagonist learning the skills and awareness of who they are and what they’re capable of, before facing the final conflict and resolution of the third act. That’s not to say there aren’t learnings in the third act, but in general, the second act is when the protagonist’s character becomes fully developed.
Assuming a lifespan of 90-or-so years, it feels like this year is the year to make my learnings, skills and awareness concrete, in preparation for my third act. To make these learnings and skills second-nature. To make them superpowers.
(As I write the above, it sounds like a lot of pressure, but to be certain, it doesn’t feel that way. It actually feels sort of exciting. Because the best part of viewing my life this way is remembering that I get to be the author of my own story.)
And so, here are things that I want to fully incorporate into who I am this year, as I get ready for Act 3:
I want to embody the phrase “kindness is a power move.” I’ve said this phrase over and over again, and I mean it, but I want to live it. I want kindness to become my superpower (emphasis on “power.”) I want to be more discerning about the difference between “being nice,” and “being kind,” and be braver about saying the difficult things, even if it makes me unpopular: as long as I’m rooted in kindness and empathy, then I’m good to go. But I want to be covertly kind, in addition to overtly kind. For example, we sold 80% of our belongings to make this move overseas, which means that we’ll be building a whole new home here: this is an amazing opportunity to have our new home communicate kindness. What does it mean to outfit a home that feels kind the moment a stranger walks in? Similarly, I’m living in a brand new climate: what does it mean to dress in a way that communicates kindness to strangers at first glance? What does it mean to brandish kindness?
As much as I want to be compassionate, I want to also welcome the compassion of others. In a three-act story, the protagonist doesn’t usually figure out their skills without the mentorship of others. I’m not great about accepting help, and as I finish writing this book on communal compassion, I’m realizing how much accepting help is an art and a skill that should be practiced, just as much as offering help is. It is possible that for compassion to be truly communal, we might have to accept kindnesses as much as we offer them. I’m still learning the truth in this, and I want to believe this statement in my heart as much as I do in my head.
I want to learn what “legacy” means. I’m still mulling this over, but I suspect that “legacy” means more than simply leaving behind money or a body of work. I do know that I want to live my life in a way that people younger than me get excited about getting older. I suspect legacy might have something to do with intentional joy, as well as meaning, and purpose, but it’s all still a bit amorphous in my head. I want to get clearer on this.
Anyway, I have a year to figure this all out, right? In the meantime, happy birthday to me! I’m going to take a couple of weeks off to celebrate, but in the meantime, here’s my birthday wish: in honour of my birthday, please delight yourself today. It doesn’t have to be big — treating yourself to an ice cream cone, or something similarly delightful, works. I’d just love to spend the day thinking that if you’ve read my words today, you’re inspired to make your day happier.
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This is definitely making my day happier, for this reason - I've always thought of my 57 year old self who recently went back to school to get a degree that would change the direction of my life as in my "2nd act", with the nagging feeling that it took too long and I should have had it all figured out sooner. But you're telling me I'm right on schedule, and perfectly positioned for my very own 3rd act, which is right where I should be (even a year or two ahead of schedule!). That is a wonderful reframing!
Happiest of birthdays to you!
I love the idea of brandishing kindness.
I am delighting in purposefully not hurrying through any part of this day. To linger is a delight.